Our First Fight -- His & Her Point of Views.
Lane: IT HAPPENED!!!!!
Lane: IT HAPPENED!!!!!
Hahah...
Five months without any arguments! If this is a preview to our future -- giving us only two or so fights a year, yes please :) Hahaha~
Now, I'm an over thinker -- to an extreme -- so I've over thought the idea that we have not had any arguments or fights yet. I've done the research and heard the rumors. Yes, people say that couples that don't fight are hiding things or holding back. I don't agree!! Not with Chuck and I. I think that we are just so much on the same page, and have such similar personalities and wants/needs. The things that he is laid back about, corresponded perfectly with what I am picky about, vice versa... therefore everything fits snugly.
I am very new to a long term relationship. Typically, my relationships consisted of the honeymoon phase, and then it ends. I never wanted to work or put forth effort into making the relationship continue. Obviously, with Chuck, the love of my life, it is very different. I'm willing to work as hard as I need to, and learn as much as I need to.
A couple things that I've been learning is that it is inevitable to avoid rough patches in a relationship. Chuck and I are just learning more about each other and how each other likes to handle fights. He seems to want space, while I want the opposite. Not saying I like to be smothered, but I like to be reassured that what I am being given is space, versus being ignored. I'm also learning that when times are really good, to cherish those deeply because they add so much to your personal happiness... more then you may realize.
I was very comforted to see how we communicated through the fight. Finished the fight with a compromise and BOTH of us acknowledging that we understood why the other was upset -- I couldn't be more satisfied with those results. I just PRAY that we can tackle every fight with the level-headedness....
I told Chuck last night during our first argument, that I was so sad because I didn't feel like we were a team this week. He replied, "sometimes teams have bad weeks baby... Not everyone goes to the Superbowl every year." Hahaha! He is something else.
My stubborn response was that "No way! We better be making it to the Superbowl EVERY damn year!"
I'll leave it up to Chuck to describe the details of our fight if he wants too... haha!
Chuck:Yes we did have our first argument, and go figure like most cases it was the guys fault. I am big enough to admit that I have a moment of poor judgment which embarrassed and hurt Lane's feelings....
I am a BMW enthusiast along with Warren, my best friend. In addition, we have a trifecta with another, Stan, who doesn't drive a BMW like Warren and I, but a Mercedes!! So as a bad joke, I saw a pic of two ladies butts in underwear that had a Mercedes stamp on one and the BMW stamp on the other. They were "butted" up together and I posted it on FB tagging them both. To the trifecta, it was a funny thing, but to everyone else they didn't get the inside joke we had.
To make matters worse instead of going in to see Lane, like I normally do, at the Wine Café she sometimes works at, I just said I wasn't coming in. In my head I figured she needed her space and time to cool off. I figured that it would have been an awkward moment at the cafe. Well I didn't communicate that to her and she felt as if I was ignoring her.
This was a good step for both of us to learn more about each other and grow together. I now know that even if Lane is upset with me to still be there and give her the communication and presence she wants. And Lane knows now that I will not purposely ignore her, I will actually do the annoying thing in letting her know I am going to ignore her to push her buttons. Which I don't ever plan on doing.
I don't think a relationship has to have arguments to be something good. It is how you handle the argument after it has happened that makes or breaks the relationship. Being able to understand one another and see if from their point of view of why they were upset. I didn't assume why Lane was upset or just give her the standard "yes I know why you are mad" answer. I told her why I thought she was upset so that we could get back on the same page again.
No one person is perfect, which makes no relationship perfect. I don't have to go to the SuperBowl in a relationship every year, but that doesn't mean I am not going to give it my best trying. She deserves the best and we deserve the best from each other.
Now, I'm an over thinker -- to an extreme -- so I've over thought the idea that we have not had any arguments or fights yet. I've done the research and heard the rumors. Yes, people say that couples that don't fight are hiding things or holding back. I don't agree!! Not with Chuck and I. I think that we are just so much on the same page, and have such similar personalities and wants/needs. The things that he is laid back about, corresponded perfectly with what I am picky about, vice versa... therefore everything fits snugly.
I am very new to a long term relationship. Typically, my relationships consisted of the honeymoon phase, and then it ends. I never wanted to work or put forth effort into making the relationship continue. Obviously, with Chuck, the love of my life, it is very different. I'm willing to work as hard as I need to, and learn as much as I need to.
A couple things that I've been learning is that it is inevitable to avoid rough patches in a relationship. Chuck and I are just learning more about each other and how each other likes to handle fights. He seems to want space, while I want the opposite. Not saying I like to be smothered, but I like to be reassured that what I am being given is space, versus being ignored. I'm also learning that when times are really good, to cherish those deeply because they add so much to your personal happiness... more then you may realize.
I was very comforted to see how we communicated through the fight. Finished the fight with a compromise and BOTH of us acknowledging that we understood why the other was upset -- I couldn't be more satisfied with those results. I just PRAY that we can tackle every fight with the level-headedness....
I told Chuck last night during our first argument, that I was so sad because I didn't feel like we were a team this week. He replied, "sometimes teams have bad weeks baby... Not everyone goes to the Superbowl every year." Hahaha! He is something else.
My stubborn response was that "No way! We better be making it to the Superbowl EVERY damn year!"
I'll leave it up to Chuck to describe the details of our fight if he wants too... haha!
Chuck:Yes we did have our first argument, and go figure like most cases it was the guys fault. I am big enough to admit that I have a moment of poor judgment which embarrassed and hurt Lane's feelings....
I am a BMW enthusiast along with Warren, my best friend. In addition, we have a trifecta with another, Stan, who doesn't drive a BMW like Warren and I, but a Mercedes!! So as a bad joke, I saw a pic of two ladies butts in underwear that had a Mercedes stamp on one and the BMW stamp on the other. They were "butted" up together and I posted it on FB tagging them both. To the trifecta, it was a funny thing, but to everyone else they didn't get the inside joke we had.
To make matters worse instead of going in to see Lane, like I normally do, at the Wine Café she sometimes works at, I just said I wasn't coming in. In my head I figured she needed her space and time to cool off. I figured that it would have been an awkward moment at the cafe. Well I didn't communicate that to her and she felt as if I was ignoring her.
This was a good step for both of us to learn more about each other and grow together. I now know that even if Lane is upset with me to still be there and give her the communication and presence she wants. And Lane knows now that I will not purposely ignore her, I will actually do the annoying thing in letting her know I am going to ignore her to push her buttons. Which I don't ever plan on doing.
I don't think a relationship has to have arguments to be something good. It is how you handle the argument after it has happened that makes or breaks the relationship. Being able to understand one another and see if from their point of view of why they were upset. I didn't assume why Lane was upset or just give her the standard "yes I know why you are mad" answer. I told her why I thought she was upset so that we could get back on the same page again.
No one person is perfect, which makes no relationship perfect. I don't have to go to the SuperBowl in a relationship every year, but that doesn't mean I am not going to give it my best trying. She deserves the best and we deserve the best from each other.
Lane: Clarification -- The ladies butts were in THONGS, not underwear!! Haha, And "butted" means "touching". Just sayin~ It is definitely a funny story to tell people about our first fight over some butts!
Hope you all have an amazing week -- It's the first Monday during Daylights Saving time... Yay...Cheers!
-Lane and Chuck
Hope you all have an amazing week -- It's the first Monday during Daylights Saving time... Yay...Cheers!
-Lane and Chuck
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