New to a Military relationship - His and Her point of view

Lane:  If you would've told me five years ago that I would fall in love and live the military life... I would've smirked and said yeah right!  Well here I am.  Not only is the love of my life in the military, he TRAVELS a lot!  There are some weeks when he is traveling overseas and we can only communicate through blackberry messaging and emails.  The traveling can be frustrating, but at the same time, it has really upped our communications.  To the point where I need to make sure to check in with him before he leaves, versus waiting until after he leaves in an email. 

Chuck and I experienced our first let down this past new years.  We were going to throw a little black and white get together for our first new years eve together.  There were tons of plans being made, recipes being saved, and outfits being purchased.  Even Chuck's best friend was coming into town and I was really looking forward to meeting him!  Less then a week before new years eve, he was told he had to go on a mission that would take him away from me for almost three weeks including new years eve...  Party is off, and I couldn't know where he was going either.  All I knew was it was overseas, and they needed tons of training before hand.  I was NOT thrilled!  It was a huge disappointment that lead to my first frustration that I've experienced with Chuck's work. 

The fact that the military can call and Chuck has to follow... made me feel like I had to share Chuck!  As if I was not Chuck's first priority... not on purpose but because he can't!  My father told me that when he was younger, in the military, they would say that

if the military wanted you to have a wife, they would issue you one......

It was not a comfortable feeling for someone who never had to share anything with the military.  My father was in the military for twenty years, but he never had to travel and always was deployed to areas that he could take his family along.  I had to check in with myself and make sure that I could deal with this and it wouldn't be a factor that would be a deal breaker.  For the first time in any relationship, I've realized that I will accept any challenges in order to be with who I was meant to be with.  Do I wish he did something less dangerous?  YES!  I have worry wart genes in my blood!!  Now I have a man that goes on dangerous missions and is traveling all the time.  This leads me to my next subject -- the blessing of technology.

 I don't know what we would do without technology!  Facetime, Skype, Emails, Texting, Blackberry messaging -- it's crazy!  It is truly a blessing and makes it a lot easier when Chuck is out of town.

So my conclusion to a successful military/traveling relationship is simple -- Think like a team, Play like a team. 

I am holding down the fort at home while Chuck is away.  I have to trust him.  I have to stay busy.  I have to not think of the worst.  I have to NOT read the news.  I have to remember that my man is away and I need to make sure his love bucket is full -- so tons of emails and pictures sent to him so he can have a taste of home while away. I have to remember that he's off working so he might not be able to dedicate a bunch of time to giving me the attention I crave.  I have to keep myself together and stay EXTRA strong.  I have to make sure I have something special for him waiting at home just to add a LITTLE more incentive to come home!  That usually involves a description of a homemade dinner I'm going to make the day he gets back, to a small gift, or even letting him know that I bought something nice for myself and he'll enjoy the eye candy when he returns! I have to think like a team, and know that he will be there to support me like I am supporting him one day in the future.  To sum this up -- Think and play like a team!  Simple.   

Chuck:GO TEAM HALFIE!!! I feel like that needed to be said... 

Now I have always had this thing about me that I get my priorities kind of backwards... When I was younger and football season came around, if I had a g/f I would break up with them so I could focus on football. Crazy I know.  So now that I am older and realized football was not everything, I have put my focus on my career.  To the point that I would have done anything, and did, for my career.  I decided to join the Army not because I couldn't find a well paying job or couldn't get a good education, I had all that.  I joined at the ripe age of 23.  The reason I joined is because one day at lunch I heard this boy tell his soon to be wife/expectant mother that he was going to join the Army because he wanted more for his family.  The only jobs he said that would hire him was fast food because all he had was a GED and couldn't even make it in Community College.  Here was a young BOY willing to sacrifice his life in a time of war to make sure his family had food, insurance, a home, and a community that would take care of them if needed.  I could see the fear in this kids eyes knowing he might be on the battle field someday soon.  It broke my heart.  I had the choice and so many other characteristics that would help create a good Soldier including the fact I was a semi Army brat to a Green Beret family.  Other factors that happened that same week I heard that young boys statements, helped me find my way into the recruiter's office and I enlisted in the Army.  Not only to serve my country, but mostly to serve my fellow Brother and Sister in arms.  If I could volunteer and sacrifice myself so that someone like this kid could stay home with his family, made me feel good. 

So what did I do.... I leaned forward and tried to be the best Soldier I could.

  

I won many awards and accomplished many things in a very short time period, because with my personality, I hit the ground running.  I was told once, "You will someday be a victim of your own success!"  That statement is so true to this day.  I started off as a Military Police person (politically correct phrase ;p ).  I am no longer an MP anymore but something more advanced.  Which, yes, does leave me having to travel all over the world to exotic places including the worst places imaginable.  After meeting Lane I know have changed my views on life.  My career will last me only until a certain point in my life.  The love of my life will last me forever.  

I finally know where home is, it is where the heart is not where my car or stuff is....

When my day is long and hectic getting a picture, an email, or BBM (BlackBerry Message) from Lane like above, makes me miss home.  I never had that feeling before, well besides missing my beloved car! Don't judge me I am a guy.... But I noticed I try even harder to make sure I am more safe and come home to her.  I try my best to make sure Lane doesn't worry about me, but it doesn't help when I can't tell her till I am coming home or when I come home, where I was.  It is a hard knock life for both of us because the Army doesn't issue us spouses but we ask our loved ones to accept what we do and know that they might come first in our hearts, but the military makes the mission come first.  

Note: This post was done while I am away again on mission....