Lane:
My love language is Words of Affirmation - by far! It's funny because the more I pay attention to the ways I show Chuck love is definitely huge in words of affirmation. With Words of Affirmation being my love language, I wanted to dig deeper into the subject itself. Give some examples that I really appreciate and maybe get our readers involved with some other examples as well.
The three main words of affirmation in Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages, are:
1. Kind words
2. Encouraging words
3. Humble words
I've been doing a lot of research about the subject and I do believe that people underestimate the power of words! A simple I love you so much, or I appreciate that you do this, this, and this can do wonders for a relationship and the surrounding feelings in the relationship. If words of affirmation can be practiced enough, even when stressed or tired, one should be able to verbally express their love.
I think Kind words is usually surrounded by words of compliments or reassurance. Kind words could include complimenting your partners characteristics that you love so much. I love Chuck's dedication and loyalty to his family and his heritage so I try to compliment his tattoos that have huge meaning in family and his heritage. I remind him that his pride and loyalty is one huge reason I adore him so much. It could include complimenting verbally how they smell or how they look. Chuck may even get tired of hearing it, but whenever he puts on cologne, I always have to mention how good he smells. Some people that do not have words of affirmation as their primary love language might want to think... "Well, I've already told him that he smells great once, so why would I do it again." If compliments are honest and covered in love... the same compliment will never get old.
Encouraging words is great. I truly think that is someones main love language is not words of affirmation, they should still practice the encouraging words. You should encourage your partners goals, passions, desires, and plans in order for them to feel loved and not alone. As if you are a part of their life even outside of the relationship topics. Encouraging words could be to make sure to comment on positive things you see your partner making. Whenever Chuck and I finish dinner, he makes sure to kiss me and say "Yum.. That was delicious." There was one time that he said I had literally cooked the BEST chicken he has ever ate and that I deserved a trophy..... BIG love points for Chuck!! Plus, guess who went and stocked up on the chicken and ingredients for the recipe? Me. Hahaha~ Encouragement in school, careers, weight loss, hair changes, etc are all important. Even though you see your partner everyday and may not notice their weight loss, mention that you are so proud of them for working or changing their eating habits. As mentioned before - if encouraging words are honest and covered in love... the same encouraging words will never get old.
Finally, humbling words. This is definitely a form of speaking with love...even if one is not happy at the moment. In a relationship, there will be requests and things that need to be compromised on. All of these should be with loving words. You should be able to express desires or needs in your relationships. This is guidance - not ultimatums.
There are a ton of ways to portray these messages as well. Although the compliment, humbling words, or encouraging words won't get old -- to prevent them from becoming a habit could be helpful! Different and random ways of portraying your words of affirmation could include practical ways (face to face), social media (bragging about your partner through fb), the written word (love letters, poems), texting (random kind texts), etc. There are a ton of creative ways to express words of affirmation and if you need extra help... GOOGLE IT! There are a ton of blogs and cheat sheets that I found online while researching the subject. Now, maybe this blog will pop up in that self help section as well :)
For example: http://reachforthesky.wordpress.com/2008/03/25/love-language-part-1-words-of-affirmation/
Great ideas on that site.
What a great subject. I MAY be a little biased on this topic since it is my primary love language. In my mind... I'm thinking WHO wouldn't have this as their primary language?? It all sounds amazing! Hahaha, but to each their own. Hope everyone is having a great week and enjoying this HOT summer!! Please please please leave comments and suggestions on your experiences as well... We'd love to hear them.
