Simplicity -- The different mindframes of men and women -- From his and her point of views!

Lane:  The differences between the way females and males think is very interesting to me.  As a female it is tough for me to support those types of statements as facts versus thinking it is an excuse for men not to be thoughtful.  

There are many different ways in which men and women think.  This subject was brought up over some pillow talk last night.  We were watching the movie "The Host" which is about another soul invading and controlling your body - but if you fight hard enough, you will share your brain with the soul versus disappearing.  After a couple humorous jokes about how you could have a relationship with a different soul in your head but share the same body..... I finally asked him if he would want to share a brain together and he shouted "ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!"  Then I thought... Oh, well yeah!  I wouldn't want to be like that forever, but it could be interesting for 24 hours.  So then I asked him.. "What about for 24 hours??"  He responded - "Nope nope nope!"  

In a way, I completely understood his response.  My mind is full of over thinking and always analyzing a situation -- topped with a ton of curiosity at all times!  But at the same time... I also was a little hurt by his response too.   Why would he not want to be in my brain for a day to consider what I think -  how I'm truly feeling - and how good he makes me feel!

 My initial reaction to the question is that I would've loved to look into Chuck's brain for 24 hours!!  I'm such a curious person in general....it would be so interesting and very reassuring!  So this drastic difference.. made me want to research the differences between men and women and how they think!

Communication seems to be the main topic.  Women focus on solutions that work for a group, talking through issues, and utilizing non-verbal gestures in order to understand the direction the communication is going.  Men are very task orientated, less talkative, and more isolated.  

Bonding with others can actually be supported for women by their larger deep limbic system which allows them to be more in touch with their feelings. Men seems to use a "fight or flight" response while women want to "tend and befriend." 

Regardless, there must be a reason that men and women were made to think so differently.  Women are given the ability to be caretakers while men have the ability to stay strong to protect their family.  I get it.  But as the world is developing, relationships are changing, and standards are switching... I'm wondering if mind frames will change as well -- the way we think will melt at the same rate that male versus female expectations are melting together.

End note - Relationships take a ton of work.  Including trying your best to think of how your significant other is thinking and feeling.  I am constantly trying to remind myself that Chuck probably views this situation differently - therefore I make sure to communicate to him how I'm perceiving it -- eliminating confusion or miscommunications.  I'm not going to lie and say it is easier either!  Seems to take us a couple different communication sessions and a little argument to cure whatever problem we are having but at the end of the day... I know how much we love each other and that our problem that we just had is a great learning experience. 

Chuck:  I totally get where Lane is coming from and maybe due to the time of night my response was a little short and harsh.  Not that I wouldn't mind at times to be in Lane's brain but at the same time I have no desire to be...

Mostly because I love the woman she is and like the differences we seldom have.  To spend time in her brain I would be worried we wouldn't have those differences anymore.  I like being able to not be on the same page with her at times and us explore our differences.  I feel it helps build our skills together.  I am very different that Lane in that I don;t over analyze things.  Mostly because of my career I have to assess the situation and react to it immediately.  Second thought could cause so many different things to go wrong is how my mind has been trained, courtesy of the US Army.

Now I would not object to Lane going into my head for a day.  At times I think that would be the best as my choice of words at times are WAAAAY off than what I mean.  That would def eliminate any confusion between the two of us.  But in the end I cherish those moments when I can just stare at her and not have a clue what she is thinking.  

Trip to Colorado - Meet Lane's mom!

TRIP TO COLORADO

 

Lane: Traveling in general with Chuck has been amazing.  Not traveling alone makes the journey to the destination quicker, and the destination that much sweeter!  I was able to share my home town with Chuck and everyone welcomed him with open arms... It makes me very proud to know I have picked the utmost BEST people to be in my life and in return they've picked me as well AND NOW have included the man I love. 

 

So far... Every trip has been the same.  The time I most cherish with Chuck is the driving/flying time that we spend together!! We had picked a EARLY flight on our way there so we had to wake up at 2AM in order to start getting ready and head to the airport.   There was absolutely noone walking through the parking tunnels that early in the morning either... So at 4AM, Chuck and I are running around the tunnels, racing on the walking escalators, and making obscene comments since we were all alone!   It was great because by the time we were on the place for departure - we crashed and slept the entire way!  

 

After an amazing breakfast, Chuck passed out again!!! Like I always tell him, he is such an angel when he is sleeping.... and then he wakes up and the horns fold back up. Hahaha~ 

Lets see... what else did we do!? 

 

Attended our first wedding together.

 Got our hair done together by my mother!

 Attended our first jazz festival to celebrate my best friends birthday.

 

Purchased our first luggage together... HAHA! OHH my man.  Of course he would want a BMW M series suitcase.... That's why I love him. 

  

All in all -- Such an amazing trip.  Chuck was able to meet almost ALL of my friends and family that is important to me, and was able to spend a good amount of time with each.  My mother absolutely adores him which is GREAT!!!  I'll let Chuck talk more about meeting individuals but we had nothing but fun and relaxation on our trip!

Chuck:  I will admit I was a little worried about going to Colorado.... It was the first time I have ever been nervous to meet a parent.  What made this time really different is Lane's mom is Korean.  So I already know about the big expectations and culture coming from my own mother.  Lane, being the first Korean woman I have ever dated, really had my nerves up.  Come to find out the nervousness was mutual.  I think we bonded well and even helped her mom purchase a new Mercedes.  Yes, I understand that as a die hard Bimmer fan, this is like the worst thing I could have done, but honestly it was a better deal for what her mom needed it for.  In turn, is why I felt like buying the BMW M suitcase balanced everything out.

What I think about Denver...............

'Merica's best PBR on a rooftop lounge..... check

Find a random barmaid to let you wear her costume...... check

Shopping mall that is huge...... check

I think I could def like living around Denver in the future....... when the time comes....

So Lane and I went to a wedding together, our first together and my first ever.....
I had a blast!!! It was not your typical church and reception wedding I have come to know from TV.  It was a boots and BBQ style wedding.  It was at this farm/ranch with animals, barns, these huge pits to BBQ in that are larger then a compact car, and a whole lot of boots YEEEHAAA hahahaha. I liked how it was a small wedding and the whole open set up.  Plus all the food, oh boy all the food!!!

I really enjoyed meeting Lane's family and friends... and finally got to meet the infamous Hannah... Which we all wondered how well we would actually mesh together.........

 

I think we meshed pretty well!

Happy 4th of July! Family, Friends, BBQ, and Beer.

Happy 4th Everyone!!

Lane: I have to say that this was one of the best 4th of July celebration weekends I've ever had! 

 

Chuck and I decided to throw a little BBQ at his place since he has an amazing view of DC!  We could actually see four different counties fireworks from his balcony!!  So glad we captured the finale fireworks in pictures as well!!  Only issue is... we were being silly in all of them!  Hahaha.  Regardless - Great memories.

The rest of the weekend consisted of golfing, watching movies, and TONS of pool time!!

Chuck will be off to school soon for a couple months so we have been trying to do as many fun activities in the summer as we can!  

 

I'm starting to realize how hard it is going to be away from his for so long!  The longest we've gone apart now is 3 weeks... It won't be too bad since I'll be visiting him in the middle.  Is it dorky that I'm ALREADY excited for that weekend!? 

 

 This is a short post just because we wanted to post a little sumpthin sumpthin since it's almost been a month since our last post!  We have a couple that are brewing at the moment, but just taking some tender loving time and care to create them :)  Hope everyone had an amazing weekend as well!!  Cheers!!