To sleep with someone before you are offically in a relationship -- His & Her Point of View

 

Lane:

I was never a supporter of the "don't sleep with anyone until after the 3rd date" rule. In my head... If you're going to do it eventually... what is the point of waiting!!! If one thinks that a man will loose interest after conquering his conquest of sleeping with a girl... What difference would it make if he got it on the 1st date versus the 15th date!  

Well... My story might be changing after my experience with Chuck.  

After a couple years of my mindset I mentioned above... I was so tired of the guys that I had been seeing. None of them wanted to be in an "official" relationship, but they wanted to hang out for months without the responsibility and work of a relationship! So right before I started dating Chuck (for the second time ;) ), I had promised myself I wouldn't sleep with any other guy until it became official! Well.... 

There was something about Chuck that made me feel like he was the one... 

Plus I was SO attracted to Chuck while we were just dating!  I was close to saying... Lets break my promise, but he was very insistent that we wait!  He never said the words out loud... but I got the point LOUD and clear! One night, after our 5th date, he dropped me off at my house and I INVITED him in!! I said, why don't we go in and I'll show you my place! He responded with "Why don't we just stay in the car and chat for a bit.. I'm cozy and like being this close to you"............. We sat in the car for almost three hours talking! In my head, I was going nuts. 

I was wondering if this guy does not find me attractive??  Or is he being lazy!! Or is there something wrong with his "tools" down there!! It was crazy. Later, I find out that he knew things would go down if he came in, and he really didn't want that to happen. He said with our relationship, he knew he wanted more... and didn't want things to get physical, because he was TIRED of relationships that were purely based on being physical.  In the end, I fulfilled my promise to myself and am so happy about it :).

My point being -- I think it depends on what type of relationship you would like to have in the future as to whether you sleep with him or not before you're in a committed relationship..... Once the "getting to know each other" turns into a lust/physical sense, the actual possibility of a true soul mate relationship might get left behind. Am I saying that couples that sleep together on the first date and bound not to be soul mates?  Absolutely not!  Each couple is different and each circumstance is different. 

Chuck:

Well as a guy I am sure all know where I stand in wanting the physical stuff from a woman, no need to really go into detail about it.

As for things with Lane..... Since having my heart broken a couple years ago, Lane was the first one to make that lonely missing pain go away.  As I mentioned in our intro, I wasn't that great of a person before and had my way with women.  I wanted it to be different with Lane.

I mean I went from "crashed and burned" our first date to then waiting until the 5th date to even kiss Lane.  I enjoyed just being around her and talking to her so much that it didn't cross my mind.  Well, it did cross my mind when I wasn't with her with all my wishful and wondering thoughts.  When I was with her I was so content with just looking at her and talking to her. 

Yes I knew on that 5th date, if I would have went in with Lane when she invited me, I would have naturally put on the moves -- again I am a guy and it is just a natural instinct for us at times.  Now, do I think people should wait or dive right into the sheets?.... It depends on the people.  For some, yes, I think they should wait.  We all have friends that rush things and say the, "OMG he/she is perfect I have never met anyone like them before, they could be the one...." Or it could be the total opposite that a one night stand prospect turns into the man/woman of your dreams. 

For those that are religious, I understand and respect your beliefs to save yourself for marriage.  For everyone else it is just a part of life's experience we go through.  It isn't like how it was centuries ago when people got married right at puberty with a life expectancy that was lower then it is today.  Not that I encourage people to be throwing it out there to everyone and anyone either.  But imagine if the person you were head over heels in love with that you didn't connect in the bedroom?  Maybe that has something to do with the divorce rate being so high in America... Or what if that random person you hooked up with ended up with an amazing connection and sparked interest to discover them more?.....

The infamous 5 Love Languages - His & Her points of view

 

Lane: I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!  So, I wanted to touch on this book because it means so much to me.  It's the whole basis of our "team" aspect to relationships.... Or another good one I've recently heard is a "2 person gang that noone else is allowed to join."    In the beginning when Chuck and I were just getting to know each other through emailing... I had mentioned how much I appreciated the things I had learned from "The Five Love Languages" written by Gary Chapman.  A couple emails later, Chuck mentioned that he went and researched the book and found the Men's addition!!  This is one of the first moments of our relationship that I remembered feeling so loved.  I don't know why the gesture of sharing this book with me was so comforting but it was.  He mentioned that he had marked certain pages and information that meant a lot to him.  He said in an email:

"...you have to want to share feelings with someone you care about so they know you care which helps build a healthy relationship"

MY man said this!!  How lucky am I.   To have found someone handsome, kind, and who isn't SCARED to talk about feeling...unbelievable.

Anyways.

So as I was doing some research and pulling up some emails to help me write this post... I came across two different times that I had taken the 5 love languages quiz!  In 2011 when I was single, my numbers went like: 10 Words of Affirmation, 10 Physical Touch, 4 Quality time, 3 Receiving Gifts, 3 Acts of service.

Now that I've been in a relationship I re-took my quiz and see my results:

Interesting how things change right??  I was talking to Chuck about it last night, and he mentioned remembering something in the book saying that the ranking of languages might change throughout life depending on what stage you are in.  I think I am now in a comfortable, fully fulfilling relationship, therefore my languages changed a little bit.  I want to make sure that my man's love bucket is full at all times.  I may struggle sometimes, because my languages are not exactly the same as Chuck's.  I also am very careful at hitting all the languages... because I honestly believe all five need to be fulfilled!  One might have more affect then the other, but you can't feel fully loved without all five.

Chuck:  Before Lane and I met I battled many issues with myself in relationships.  I would be what you would call a womanizer.  I didn't know how to let people in or how to care for someone else.  It took almost 30yrs to finally have my heart broken and see it within myself my flaws.  I did a lot of self soul searching and changed myself.  I have always been an open minded person so when Lane mentioned the book it sparked interest to me in many reasons.

I wanted that "love" feeling again, not to just receive it but to give it to someone else.  I took it as a sign when Lane mentioned the book to me.  I was on another mission to Afghanistan when I picked it up.  I was surprised on how easy of a read it was.  I did pick up the guys version so maybe that has something to do with it.  Within 3 days of getting it I had already read the whole book and was telling all my teammates about it.  At that time Lane and I were not officially a couple and I got many comments about how I was already crazy about her, which I was.  But all jokes aside I got some kudos from people who have been married awhile and said that they had went through counseling that if they had read that book would have helped out a lot.  So I figured I was above the power curve.

There are so many quotes I can take from the book to post on here, but I can't decide on which one is the best without giving the book away.  It is must read for everyone whether if you are single, dating, or married.  It isn't designed to help relationships already in trouble, which it could do.  It focuses on how two people can understand each other to come together as one.

Lane and I go on about Team Halfie not just because we are both half Korean, but because we both bring something to the relationship and make each other better.  This book helped me understand that.  I have so many pages and phrases highlighted and book marked it is crazy.

A relationship is not suppose to be easy and I enjoy working through it all with Lane.  I am glad that after almost 6 months we still need to find the time to check in with each other to make sure our love buckets are full.

I will close with this, sometimes I wish I would have read this book after we fell in love so it would have been a bigger shock to me that we do things, like read this book, not just because we want to.  We do it because we love that person enough to go through and do whatever it takes to love them better and to be loved better.

Chuck's Homecoming!! An amazing week of date ideas and plenty of cooking.

Lane:

Chuck is home!! The problem about him being away for so long is that I am saving up a ton of recipes and date ideas that I want to do all of them at once!  So here is a break down of the week:

Chuck will actually admit how much he believes in juicing.  He was gone for over two weeks, and his body reacting to not having juice everyday!  So juicing was definitely the first thing we tackled.  I made sure to fill him up with some yummy beets, and a TON of mango's that were JUST about to go bad!

 

That evening, we had a lovely date night at Chuck's penthouse.  The picture actually turned out really nice -- it almost looks like it was taken at a restaurant!  

 

Our salmon salad was SO simple and SO delicious!

Ingredients needed:

Frozen individual salmon defrosted

Lemon juice

Olive Oil

Cayenne Pepper

Salad

Any vinigerette dressing

Candied Pecans

Crumbled goat cheese

We bought individually wrapped salmon from Costco and defrosted them. 

Next we seasoned it with a little olive oil, lemon juice, and a layer of Cayenne pepper and baked for 20 minutes on 350.

Topped it on a regular green salad with a raspberry vinaigrette dressing with some candied pecans and crumbled goat cheese.

The rest of our week consisted of:

Working out with our new tennis shoes!!

Pizza Night!

A friends birthday party -- Not toasted at all.... :)

A trip to visit Chuck's godson (Aren't they TOO adorable?)

And lastly:  Oreo Smoothie Night - I was craving it!! I saw a pintrest recipe that used cool whip to make it healthier -- but nope!  We went straight for the Bryers Ice Cream.

All in all -- Amazing weekend.  

We have a post coming soon about the book that really gave A LOT to our relationships.  The five love languages.  Keep posted!!  

We hope everyone has a safe, fun, positive weekend!  Cheers XO.

Expectations are resentments waiting to happen! Oh and pineapple juice is delish!

Lane: My mid-year new years resolution goal -- NO MORE ASSUMING!  I have been battling some character traits that I didn't really notice until recently.  My assumptions turn into expectations, and I now know that

Expectations are resentments waiting to happen!

I've been battling with labeling my high assumptions with being too "self-centered".  But I struggle with that because I don't consider myself a self-centered person.  By definition, a self centered person is:

• Talks about themselves constantly.
• Does not listen to others well nor cares to listen to what others have to say and makes no bones about it.
• Self centered people can cut off a conversation they are having with another person and start talking about themselves.
• They can be vain about their looks and are constantly looking at themselves in any reflection they can manage to get too, or, constantly preening themselves while the world flies by.
• They take, but don't give back.
• They may flirt even if they have a boyfriend or are married.
• They constantly need reassurance about their looks.
• If they don't get enough attention they will sulk.
• Basically everything in society is about 'them.'

And I don't find that I fit into many of those categories.  I'm wondering if I should label my assumptions on taking things too personally.   If someone does something, it is to get a reaction out of me.  For example, when Chuck posts an inappropriate picture (see the blog "Our First Fight" for more details),  I assume that he is testing his limits in our relationship!  I can't help but consider this as self-centered -- "he did something to get a reaction" out of me. 

So my new goal for myself is to take things less personal.  Here are a couple steps I found on WikiHow:

• Give the benefit of doubt: If you have a habit of taking things personally, it means that you're apt to assume someone is directing some form of aggression towards you when they could be just joking around or having a bad day. It might be your instinct to react emotionally, but pause for a second. Maybe it's not about you. Don't jump to conclusions
• Refocus your attention: When you take things personally, you shift your attention from what someone said or did to how you feel. Unless you move on from that point, it's likely that you'll ruminate on the negative feeling and amplify it. Instead, focus on the other person.
• Remind yourself that you don't need anyone's approval. If you're especially sensitive to how people treat you and you often overreact, you might have a strong radar for rejection. You worry that you're doing something wrong if you pick up on any kind of displeasure, and you want to fix it. But just because someone isn't happy with you doesn't mean you've done something wrong. In many cases, it means that person isn't happy with themselves and expects you to fill in the blanks (which is impossible).
• Speak up. Let the person know how you are feeling. They might not realize how hurtful or aggressive they seem and how it is affecting you. Use "I" statements.
• Stop taking compliments personally, too. If you base your self-worth on how often people compliment and validate you, then you're allowing others to decide how you feel about yourself. If someone compliments you, it's no more personal than a direct insult. They're simply calling it how they see it, and that may or may not be accurate--only you can be the judge of that. If someone compliments you, that doesn’t make you a better person, it makes them a better person because they're taking the time to be supportive and encouraging. Your value remains unchanged, because it's something that comes from within.

It has been a very eye opening experience for me.  It's a character trait that I never even CONSIDERED I had!  I simply characterized it as an "Over-Thinker."  I am so thankful for Chuck because he has been SO supportive!  I actually sent him a HUGE, long, painfully emotional email about how I was feeling and how I needed to stop assuming things and managing my expectations better.  Poor thing.  Hahaha  It doesn't help that I am only on month 2 of Birth Control..... Talk about emotions!

ANYWAYS!  As for an update on Chuck and I's life, he has been out of town for a couple weeks, but just got back last night with gifts!!!

 

Fresh Pineapples from Hawaii!!!!!

 

 Talk about DELISH!!  I also felt too guilty to juice them!! I didn't want to waste ANY of it.

But we decided to just juice one of the two.

We added some red cabbage (making a beautiful purple color), sweet potato, apples, and kale. 

 

Chuck actually brought back a necklace from Hawaii, and a "Jeep Car" from the Philippines. 

 

There should be another post soon from Chuck and pictures from his travels!  We hope everyone has an amazing weekend -- TGIF!  Cheers!

Chuck: While I was away on mission I did receive an email from Lane that covered this topic.  In my eyes I don't feel as though her expectations are high or assuming things.  It has been a rough few months for me that Lane has been there for me in so many ways that I have had a hard time fulfilling my ways of showing her that I love her and doing things I normally do.  I had a major surgery on my chest that scared me and hurt my pride.  It mostly due to the vanity of being deformed in my chest and having scars.  On top of that I am an only child and growing up in a somewhat Army life I always searched for a connection with my father.  My father has been battling cancer for awhile now and it won.  I tried the mancho saying of it is a part of life, but after this last month having my mother call me in tears because of how it is withering him away and he has been taken off the transplant list with only a short time left it hit me hard.  I am not ready to lose my father, even though we didn't have much of a connection he is still my dad.  Lane was there for me and held me as I hated everything and full of anger and confusion.  This is a new battle for me because I am use to just shutting down and people out.  After the storm has calmed I pick up and move along to someplace new to start over.  I let her know this and that I don't want it to happen with her.

We have a huge life changing event coming soon and I don't think it is fair to Lane to feel as though she is thinking that me not being able to meet her expectations is all her over thinking things.  For those of you that have lost a loved one you will understand that it rips your mind and heart apart which effects everything and everyone around you.  I know Lane will be there for me, and with her there by my side I will get through this tough time and back to doing all those little things I used to do for her.  I know that sounds like an excuse and I do try to keep up with them because she means the world to me.  I know that everything that I have gone through in my life that this is one time I need and want her there to hold me and help me through this.

Pesto Grilled Cheese - YUMMY!

Lane:

I don't know if I should label Chuck as being LUCKY for being my guinea pig for all my cooking ideas, or UNLUCKY for being my guinea pig!  So far, I haven't came up with anything completely unedible!

 

Unfortunately Chuck will be out of town for a couple weeks, but I had a 24 refresher on Wednesday which was nice!  I consider it a gift from the Army... instead of making me go almost three weeks without any site of him!

So during this 24 hour refresher, I made Pesto/Avocado Grilled Cheese Sandwiches that have been sitting in my Pintrest board for at least a year! 

 Results: Success!

It was easy to make.  Plus the ingrediants are easy to use, and common ones to use with other dishes (I've been on this Avocado and Pesto kick).  One thing I did was underestimate the power of goat cheese!  As you can see, I didn't leave any bread uncovered with the goat cheese.... Next time, I will tone it down.

Side note - Chuck says that he enjoyed the next day leftovers better then the hot version!  Interesting... 

Here is the original recipe I found of pintrest:

 Green Goddess Grilled Cheese Recipe

 I would follow everything except make sure to use less goat cheese, and add some turkey bacon for a little meat in the dish!  It turned out great.

Well the ONE great thing about Chuck traveling so much for work.... I get presents!!! So even during his 24 hour refresher.... Lookie what I got:

 <3 Pint glasses and <3 Chocolate... Oh he knows me so well!

Well I have my mouth full eating, so I better stop blogging... Hahaha Chuck and I wish everyone a fantastic weekend!  Cheers!

-Lane and Chuck

Our First Fight

Our First Fight -- His & Her Point of Views.

Lane: IT HAPPENED!!!!!

Hahah...

Five months without any arguments!  If this is a preview to our future -- giving us only two or so fights a year, yes please :) Hahaha~ 

Now, I'm an over thinker -- to an extreme -- so I've over thought the idea that we have not had any arguments or fights yet.  I've done the research and heard the rumors.  Yes, people say that couples that don't fight are hiding things or holding back.  I don't agree!!  Not with Chuck and I.  I think that we are just  so much on the same page, and have such similar personalities and wants/needs.  The things that he is laid back about, corresponded perfectly with what I am picky about, vice versa... therefore everything fits snugly.  

I am very new to a long term relationship.  Typically, my relationships consisted of the honeymoon phase, and then it ends.  I never wanted to work or put forth effort into making the relationship continue.  Obviously, with Chuck, the love of my life, it is very different.  I'm willing to work as hard as I need to, and learn as much as I need to.  

A couple things that I've been learning is that it is inevitable to avoid rough patches in a relationship.  Chuck and I are just learning more about each other and how each other likes to handle fights.  He seems to want space, while I want the opposite.  Not saying I like to be smothered, but I like to be reassured that what I am being given is space, versus being ignored.  I'm also learning that when times are really good, to cherish those deeply because they add so much to your personal happiness... more then you may realize.  

I was very comforted to see how we communicated through the fight.  Finished the fight with a compromise and BOTH of us acknowledging that we understood why the other was upset -- I couldn't be more satisfied with those results.  I just PRAY that we can tackle every fight with the level-headedness.... 

I told Chuck last night during our first argument, that I was so sad because I didn't feel like we were a team this week.  He replied, "sometimes teams have bad weeks baby... Not everyone goes to the Superbowl every year."  Hahaha!  He is something else.  

My stubborn response was that "No way!  We better be making it to the Superbowl EVERY damn year!"  

I'll leave it up to Chuck to describe the details of our fight if he wants too... haha! 



Chuck:Yes we did have our first argument, and go figure like most cases it was the guys fault.  I am big enough to admit that I have a moment of poor judgment which embarrassed and hurt Lane's feelings....

I am a BMW enthusiast along with Warren, my best friend.  In addition, we have a trifecta with another, Stan, who doesn't drive a BMW like Warren and I, but a Mercedes!!  So as a bad joke, I saw a pic of two ladies butts in underwear that had a Mercedes stamp on one and the BMW stamp on the other.  They were "butted" up together and I posted it on FB tagging them both.  To the trifecta, it was a funny thing, but to everyone else they didn't get the inside joke we had.  

To make matters worse instead of going in to see Lane, like I normally do, at the Wine Café she sometimes works at, I just said I wasn't coming in.  In my head I figured she needed her space and time to cool off.  I figured that it would have been an awkward moment at the cafe.  Well I didn't communicate that to her and she felt as if I was ignoring her. 

This was a good step for both of us to learn more about each other and grow together.  I now know that even if Lane is upset with me to still be there and give her the communication and presence she wants.  And Lane knows now that I will not purposely ignore her, I will actually do the annoying thing in letting her know I am going to ignore her to push her buttons.  Which I don't ever plan on doing.  

I don't think a relationship has to have arguments to be something good.  It is how you handle the argument after it has happened that makes or breaks the relationship.  Being able to understand one another and see if from their point of view of why they were upset.  I didn't assume why Lane was upset or just give her the standard "yes I know why you are mad" answer.  I told her why I thought she was upset so that we could get back on the same page again.  

No one person is perfect, which makes no relationship perfect.  I don't have to go to the SuperBowl in a relationship every year, but that doesn't mean I am not going to give it my best trying.  She deserves the best and we deserve the best from each other.

 

Lane:  Clarification -- The ladies butts were in THONGS, not underwear!!  Haha, And "butted" means "touching". Just sayin~ It is definitely a funny story to tell people about our first fight over some butts!

Hope you all have an amazing week -- It's the first Monday during Daylights Saving time... Yay...Cheers!

 

-Lane and Chuck

Squash/Zucchini Boats - Grapefruit Juice

Lane:  So we haven't posted anything in a while, so I just wanted to share some of the things we have been cooking up in the kitchen!

Last night, I went shopping for ingredients to make zucchini boats that I found on pintrest!  Well.... Safeway did not have Zucchini's!  How frustrating.  I texted Chuck asking what I should do, and he suggested trying the yellow squash instead... I mean they look the same right?  Haha.  So here are our results:

SUCCESS!

Here is the original post with the recipe:

http://menumusings.blogspot.com/2011/11/stuffed-zucchini.html

So the only things altered were the substitution of squash and we did not use onion (I hate them) and we did not have curry powder.  Delish and healthy!

As for our weekly juice adventures, Conclusion: 

GRAPEFRUITS = YUCK!!! 

BEETS = Ehh....

Chuck is such a comedian.  Lane: "Baby... how do you cut beets?"  Chuck: "Ughh.. With Dre, Duh!"  Hence where our pictures came from. 

"Beets by Chuck"

So what we have learned this week -- DO NOT JUICE GRAPEFRUITS.  Oh, it was terrible.  For the past three weeks of amazing juice, the grapefruit was horrible!  After test tasting the juice, I kept adding things to take away that bitter/dirt taste from the grapefruit... Nope.  It was there to stay.  We had used so much juice, that we decided to plug our noses and chug the juice!  

Today I had a much better experience with beets.  Today's juice included:

Two beets

Two carrots

Two apples

One bunch of celery

One romaine lettuce head

One Mango

And half of a papaya

MUCH better...  Tomorrow, I want to incorporate the rest of the papaya, sweet potato and asparagus!! 

We hope everyone has an amazing week!! XO

New to a Military relationship - His and Her point of view

Lane:  If you would've told me five years ago that I would fall in love and live the military life... I would've smirked and said yeah right!  Well here I am.  Not only is the love of my life in the military, he TRAVELS a lot!  There are some weeks when he is traveling overseas and we can only communicate through blackberry messaging and emails.  The traveling can be frustrating, but at the same time, it has really upped our communications.  To the point where I need to make sure to check in with him before he leaves, versus waiting until after he leaves in an email. 

Chuck and I experienced our first let down this past new years.  We were going to throw a little black and white get together for our first new years eve together.  There were tons of plans being made, recipes being saved, and outfits being purchased.  Even Chuck's best friend was coming into town and I was really looking forward to meeting him!  Less then a week before new years eve, he was told he had to go on a mission that would take him away from me for almost three weeks including new years eve...  Party is off, and I couldn't know where he was going either.  All I knew was it was overseas, and they needed tons of training before hand.  I was NOT thrilled!  It was a huge disappointment that lead to my first frustration that I've experienced with Chuck's work. 

The fact that the military can call and Chuck has to follow... made me feel like I had to share Chuck!  As if I was not Chuck's first priority... not on purpose but because he can't!  My father told me that when he was younger, in the military, they would say that

if the military wanted you to have a wife, they would issue you one......

It was not a comfortable feeling for someone who never had to share anything with the military.  My father was in the military for twenty years, but he never had to travel and always was deployed to areas that he could take his family along.  I had to check in with myself and make sure that I could deal with this and it wouldn't be a factor that would be a deal breaker.  For the first time in any relationship, I've realized that I will accept any challenges in order to be with who I was meant to be with.  Do I wish he did something less dangerous?  YES!  I have worry wart genes in my blood!!  Now I have a man that goes on dangerous missions and is traveling all the time.  This leads me to my next subject -- the blessing of technology.

 I don't know what we would do without technology!  Facetime, Skype, Emails, Texting, Blackberry messaging -- it's crazy!  It is truly a blessing and makes it a lot easier when Chuck is out of town.

So my conclusion to a successful military/traveling relationship is simple -- Think like a team, Play like a team. 

I am holding down the fort at home while Chuck is away.  I have to trust him.  I have to stay busy.  I have to not think of the worst.  I have to NOT read the news.  I have to remember that my man is away and I need to make sure his love bucket is full -- so tons of emails and pictures sent to him so he can have a taste of home while away. I have to remember that he's off working so he might not be able to dedicate a bunch of time to giving me the attention I crave.  I have to keep myself together and stay EXTRA strong.  I have to make sure I have something special for him waiting at home just to add a LITTLE more incentive to come home!  That usually involves a description of a homemade dinner I'm going to make the day he gets back, to a small gift, or even letting him know that I bought something nice for myself and he'll enjoy the eye candy when he returns! I have to think like a team, and know that he will be there to support me like I am supporting him one day in the future.  To sum this up -- Think and play like a team!  Simple.   

Chuck:GO TEAM HALFIE!!! I feel like that needed to be said... 

Now I have always had this thing about me that I get my priorities kind of backwards... When I was younger and football season came around, if I had a g/f I would break up with them so I could focus on football. Crazy I know.  So now that I am older and realized football was not everything, I have put my focus on my career.  To the point that I would have done anything, and did, for my career.  I decided to join the Army not because I couldn't find a well paying job or couldn't get a good education, I had all that.  I joined at the ripe age of 23.  The reason I joined is because one day at lunch I heard this boy tell his soon to be wife/expectant mother that he was going to join the Army because he wanted more for his family.  The only jobs he said that would hire him was fast food because all he had was a GED and couldn't even make it in Community College.  Here was a young BOY willing to sacrifice his life in a time of war to make sure his family had food, insurance, a home, and a community that would take care of them if needed.  I could see the fear in this kids eyes knowing he might be on the battle field someday soon.  It broke my heart.  I had the choice and so many other characteristics that would help create a good Soldier including the fact I was a semi Army brat to a Green Beret family.  Other factors that happened that same week I heard that young boys statements, helped me find my way into the recruiter's office and I enlisted in the Army.  Not only to serve my country, but mostly to serve my fellow Brother and Sister in arms.  If I could volunteer and sacrifice myself so that someone like this kid could stay home with his family, made me feel good. 

So what did I do.... I leaned forward and tried to be the best Soldier I could.

  

I won many awards and accomplished many things in a very short time period, because with my personality, I hit the ground running.  I was told once, "You will someday be a victim of your own success!"  That statement is so true to this day.  I started off as a Military Police person (politically correct phrase ;p ).  I am no longer an MP anymore but something more advanced.  Which, yes, does leave me having to travel all over the world to exotic places including the worst places imaginable.  After meeting Lane I know have changed my views on life.  My career will last me only until a certain point in my life.  The love of my life will last me forever.  

I finally know where home is, it is where the heart is not where my car or stuff is....

When my day is long and hectic getting a picture, an email, or BBM (BlackBerry Message) from Lane like above, makes me miss home.  I never had that feeling before, well besides missing my beloved car! Don't judge me I am a guy.... But I noticed I try even harder to make sure I am more safe and come home to her.  I try my best to make sure Lane doesn't worry about me, but it doesn't help when I can't tell her till I am coming home or when I come home, where I was.  It is a hard knock life for both of us because the Army doesn't issue us spouses but we ask our loved ones to accept what we do and know that they might come first in our hearts, but the military makes the mission come first.  

Note: This post was done while I am away again on mission.... 

Valentines Day -- His and Her point of view

***UPDATE 15 FEB 2013 - AMAZING Valentines day!  You know.. Even though we mentioned that a couple based on team characteristics, should celebrate their relationship constantly... it was very nice to celebrate our first valentines together in style!!  I was in such awe with Chuck's celebration!  He picked an phenomenal restaurant, with a perfect reservation time, and beautiful long stemmed roses -- I was truly impressed!  - Lane 



**UPDATE 13 FEB 2013 - Look at who decided to give in and surprise me?? Chuck's exact romantic words to me were: "I'm going to wine and dine that ass."  Oh how I love him. - Lane



VALENTINES DAY

His and Her point of view

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Lane:  Ohhh Valentines day... You would think that me, being a female, would absolutely love this holiday -- wrong.  It's a very "hallmark" type holiday which can be a bit overly cheesey.   Now.... Will I say that I would not be a tad bit sad if Chuck didn't do something a little special for the day?  Nope! Haha!! 

 Earlier in the week, Chuck asked me what I would like to do on Valentines day... and I responded with a "Oh!  Weren't you going to put together a little surprise??", and he said "Oh yes! I totally forgot................"  Haha Oh, I love him.  

Now, is this fair?  Is it fair to expect a special surprise/dinner/gift on a holiday made up by the retail industry?

Shouldn't a team-based relationship have these types of special appreciation days randomly throughout the year -- instead of being forced to celebration on a specific day?  

For a while, it didn't seem fair to me, until Chuck introduced me to "Steaks and BlowJobs Day" on March 14th!  Hahaha Am I the only one that has never heard of this?? It took Chuck a couple minutes to actually convince me that it was a real holiday versus something he just made up very quickly.  Check it out!  www.steakandbj.org

Hilarious!  

Now, I don't feel bad at all for getting a little special attention on Valentines day since one month later... Chuck will get a special day himself :) XO.

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Chuck: Yes I admit I made the typical guy mistake and asked, "Baby what would like to do for Valentines day?"  In my defense I was still jet lagged from traveling overseas when I asked her this, that is my story and I am sticking to it ;P
So I have come across a dilemma as I do want to make it a special day because of the whole "Hallmark" emphasis this day has.... Should I do original and get chocolate and flowers? But chocolate goes against our diet plans and flowers die... Do I get her a gift like jewelry or something of the sort? But then would I objectify our relationship to how much bling bling I can provide her... Or do a fancy dinner or make something at home? We all know fancy dinners out is hectic and knowing us making something at home we will get distracted with each other and end up having sex in the kitchen (wishful thinking I know)... Or a combination of all.... No matter what I will discover the perfect Valentines for her, not because it is the day but because I LOVE her and want to make it super special on that day.... *gag worthy brownie point comment I know ;) 

As for Steak and BJ Day.... Google it, it is legit! They even have T-Shirts! Heck think of the laughs you would get if you got your significant other one, just saying...

The creation of "Team Halfie"

 

Lane: So... To explain Team Halfie is simple.  Chuck and I both are half Korean and are very proud of BOTH cultures.  Interestingly enough, Chuck and I met through an online site.  My first words to him was "Hello... Fellow Halfie", and it stuck from there.  As our relationship has quickly grown, we have been trying to build the STRONGEST team characteristics as our relationship's base.  We truly believe that if a couple acts as a team, nothing is impossible.  There is constant communication, loyalty, dedication, and trust in a successful team... and we try to mirror those qualities.  Chuck is such an amazing person with a huge heart.  You'll be able to see this throughout the blog.  I could go on and on about his qualities... but this is probably enough gag-worthy info for now :) 

Chuck: From the "guys point of view".... There I was in Vegas with my BFF, Warren, doing non-sinful things that I received that monumental message from Lane.  I was skeptic about online dating and had no luck with finding a interaction with someone that lasted past the first email, and they say guys are the ones looking for booty calls pshhh!!! The thing that helped create Team Halfie and had me fall head over heals for Lane was our ability to communicate via email and texts.  Odd you say?! Yes, Lane lived on the east coast while I was living/working on the west coast.  We met while I was away working for almost 3 months!!! Yes we talked via email and texts for 3 whoooole long months before ever meeting in person.  Crazy I know right?! Our ability to communicate with each other and be on the same page is the foundation of us having something I have always wanted but never found in a woman.  Ha- bet a lot of you woman would never hear a guy say communication came first! :P  

<3 10/24/12

Introductions

Hello!! From Chuck and Lane.

Lane: So this is something that is completely new to myself and Chuck.  We decided that blogging about our adventures would be a fun thing to do together.  I'm a huge fan of sharing experiences -- good and bad! 

So to introduce myself:
 My name is Lane and I am 24 years old.  I work in IT during the day, but won't really touch on my career at all here.  I'd like to focus on the good stuff!  I am an over-thinker that tries to always see the best in people and be positive about everything. 

Chuck: My name is Chuck (Charles) and I am 31 years old, geez I know robbing the cradle over here ;) I am a Soldier going on 8 years of an amazing career, which you will see later on is a big hurdle for Lane and I in our adventures together.  I am a very optimistic person and can always find the positive in any situation.  I live by a saying, "Dream as though you will live forever, Live as though you will die tomorrow."