HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHUCK!! Great date ideas - Ziplining and Water Rafting and Baking cakes!

Lane: 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHUCK!!!

SAENG-il CHU-kah HAM-ni-dah,
SAENG-il CHU-kah HAM-ni-dah,
SA-rang Ha-neun Chuckkkk,
SAENG-il CHU-kah HAM-ni-dah

 (In Korean)

We had so much fun celebrating Chuck's birthday!! So this is my version, but I bet Chuck will try and correct me, but for his LAST birthday.... He spent it alone!  It was three or four days after the first time we met, and unfortunately, I was still dating someone else... Poor thing told me that he was eating his favorite Korean food all by himself!! So I had to put EXTRA effort in this year to make up for missing his last :)

The day started off by getting woken up with a present on the stomach!

This present was actually from his best friend!  We have set up a system that Warren will send the presents to me so I can wrap them and surprise Chuck!!  I love it. Hahah~

Then I let him know to bring a change of clothing because we would be getting wet and muddy!  Took a two hour drive to West Virginia to do some ziplining and water rafting!  He swears he was surprised!

Ziplining was a blast.  I've never been so I was a bit scared and nervous. I'm not good with heights!  Chuck was so supportive and kept telling me it was going to be no biggie once I jumped off the platform!  

 

AND he was right.  It was a blast!!

The group that we went ziplining with was super nice too.  On our last swing down, Chuck was the last one to go... so I informed everyone that it was Chuck's birthday and that I had a surprise cake that everyone was welcome to come get a taste!

And they all showed up!  It was great!

 They all met us where I set up the cake and we all sang a HORRIBLY pitched happy birthday to Chuck.  I loved it! To see Chuck smile so deeply, I smiled just as deep!

 After lunch, we went water rafting which was a total blast!  Our guide was very adventurous and had us surfing the little waves with our entire boat!! It is very hard to explain, but it was just TOO fun!

The cake is a whole story in itself.  I don't have an electric mixer, so I blended some of the ingredients and tried to combine MULTIPLE pintrest ideas... Lets just say it was an interesting nutella and strawberry pound cake - injected with butter... HAHA!

 

All in all, a wonderful day.  It's been a little bit of a hard time these days for us as a team, so a day like today is exactly what we needed to lift our spirits.  We've hit a chapter in our lives together that is a bit bumpy... but I am PROUD to say that we are working very hard through them.  I'm sure we will post soon with advice and knowledge of what we go through and how we worked on the team.  It all includes situations of sickness, frustrations, and learning how to fight and WHY we fight.  It's interesting to me to see troubles that couples post online, because it's only human to want to share ONLY the successes and happiness... but sometimes the dark needs to be shared as well.  It's just a part of life!  Regardless of what we go through, I promise Chuck that I will ALWAYS be by his side as his teammate and as his one true love.  Through thick and thin baby!

 Chuck:  Yes I was surprised by it all... From presents to the zip lining and rafting, which I have never rafted before.



So with presents, both Lane and Warren got me these amazing shirts and shorts from a workout clothing line that I have become a fan of, HTFU, which is amazing for working out in!!! I was also surprised with a Burberry shirt, since I have been wanting one.



This birthday made up for the past 6 years that did not go well or I was in a place that I couldn't celebrate it.  Lane is right in saying we have hit a bumpy road in our journey together.  We have been working through it and discovering ourselves even more.  She is definitely my leaning post right now and is feeling the frustrations from it.  But that is for another post.



Well, we hope you all have a great week!  We are headed to Colorado this weekend... Another post to come soon :)  Please everyone, tell everyone in your life that you love... "I love you" this week.  Even if it's cheesy or random -- It'll be worth it. 

Memorial Day Weekend - Strawberry Banana Pancakes/Strawberry Shortcake Cupcakes

Lane:

Memorial Day weekend = a blessing.  I just have to first give a moment to Chuck and his fellow brothers and sisters in arms that they were on my mind all weekend - so thankful for what they sacrifice for my/our country.  

With that being said, what is the best way to your man's heart?? Through his belly!! 

 

 We made a trip to the farmers market where Chuck found a loaf of Zucchini bread that he almost finished while we walked around.  Haha!

Plenty of strawberries were purchased, hence my recipes!

 Starting off, I made strawberry banana pancakes that turned out delish:

 

Ingredients needed:

1 cup almond flour
1 cup brown rice flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon palm sugar

1 teaspoon salt
1 ½ cups milk (dairy or nondairy)
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2/3 cup mashed banana (2 large bananas)
1 cup chopped strawberries

The actual recipe I followed:

http://chefthisup.com/recipe/7738/strawberry-banana-pancakes/

The only things I substituted was the types of flour.

 

Next thing I made was very similar in ingredients.  The recipe that I modeled my cupcakes after is found: http://www.ladybehindthecurtain.com/strawberry-shortcake-cupcakes/

Ingredients I used:

1 1/2 cups almond flour

1 1/2 cups brown rice flour

2 cups palm sugar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

6 large eggs

2 cups butter, softened

1/2 cup milk

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 ctn whole strawberries

1 package cream cheese

1 container of marshmallow cream

Everything in my recipe was the same except for a couple ingredients.  Also, the icing was a blended mixture of one package of cream cheese mixed with the marshmallow creme -- easiest icing and SO tasty!  It was nice a thick in order to "glue" cut up strawberries on the top.  I didn't want to cut out and waste any of the cake portion.  

The topping is just cut up strawberries that I covered with a sprinkle of sugar for an hour or so.

 

SO yummy!

 

The rest of the weekend consisted of watching movies... BBQing... Spending time with our godsons.

 

For example, teaching them to flex!

If you have any questions, please feel free to email us at teamhalfie@gmail.com -- either about recipes or any of random questions!!  We are always welcome to helping!  Hope everyone enjoys their short week :)  Cheers!

Chuck:  I would like to send out a special thank you to all of you who read our blog that support US Troops, no matter which branch of service.  Some of us join without a choice of better life, some of us because it is our family heritage, and some of us do it because we feel the need within us to serve our country and protect our fellow American.  

I had the blessed opportunity to take a photo with a little boy while visiting Arlington Cemetery to lay flowers to a fallen, who thanked me for what I do.  That is the greatest gift you can give this Soldier.

Our First Trip Together!!! Lessons learned and good memories

CHICAGO 

Lane:  Trip to meet Chuck's family for the first time -- Success!

Let me just start with the lesson learned.... Men and women have VERY different perspectives on "clothing"!  Hahaha Chuck is from Chicago so I asked him what his opinion on what I should bring to wear in the windy city!  He said "Spring type clothing"  Okay ladies, correct me if I'm wrong.... Spring time clothing -- Dresses with a jean jacket, shorts and a long sleeve shirt, FLIP FLOPS!!  Well, I'm SO glad that I brought a pair of boots and one pair of jeans... because it ended up snowing and raining the entire weekend. Hahaha!  It got so cold that Chuck's mother ended up giving me a thicker sweater because I was always freezing!!  So glad his family didn't judge me since I wore the same outfit for three days in a row!!

 

 Over-all the trip was great.  Chuck is an amazing traveler and I felt so safe with him!  So we will admit.... We were being Cheap-O's for some reason while shopping for hotels.  Now, all the Marriott's were booked, so we decided... since we were going cheap, lets go the CHEAPEST possible!  Picking the cheapest possible put us in a Red Roof Inn -- Please see the living situation below:

 

Yes, that is a bug on the left. next to our drinking cups and the right is how we barricaded the door.   We arrived at the hotel very late at night so as we pulled up, our headlights shined on a room in which a random head popped out of the curtains in the window to peek at us, and followed by another head popping out their door that they just cracked open............................Talk about scary.  I will say... sharing a double bed with your significant other is a must every once in a while!  It definitely brought us closer and made us cherish our cali-king sized bed at home even more. 

 

 So I met Chuck's family on this trip, but he was able to meet my Uncle since he lives in Chicago!  My Uncle treated us to some fancy sushi that he made at his restaurant and then took us home to see the family.  

I haven't seen my Uncle nor Cousins in over ten years!  Such a great reunion.  Oh, and they love Chuck :) Look, they were bonding within 24 hours!

 It was interesting to notice that one of my favorite parts about the entire trip was the time spent with Chuck in the car.  

We spent about.... 12 hours or so driving from Chicago to Chuck's home and back a couple times.  Sometimes he would drive, sometimes I would drive.  We would stop at random gas stations... Playing and running around to get our blood pumping after sitting for so long.  We would find special chips or treats to eat at each gas station... even if we weren't hungry!  Just something entertaining to do while driving.  We would listen to music.  Sing.  Randomly dance.  I love watching Chuck do his random dancing in the car.  TRIED to record it a couple times, but it was a no-go.

 The trip in itself meant a lot to me.  The fact that Chuck opened up his ENTIRE family and all of his friends to me... was amazing.  

 

I'm so glad his mom was on board when I asked to see all of Chuck's baby pictures!! She had the albums ready to go!  Gosh, he was such a cutie.  I told him he better give me babies that look JUST like him! Hahahaha!  






 His mom even took me shopping because she said liked me so much and just wanted to give a nice gesture... VERY Korean mother!   When Chuck's mom came in and asked me to go shopping, I looked at Chuck to save me and he said "Go!! You know there is no way to stop this..." Hahaha So I ended up with a VERY nice pair of earrings that match the necklace her son gave me.  Such a sweet family!! 



They loved me, I loved them, it was great.



I loved looking at Chuck when he was talking with his mom, or watching him smile at his sister while giving her a hard time (or beating her up!).  They say you can tell a lot about how a person will be in the future based on their home life, and if that's the case, I can't wait for the future with Chuck!  <3

 

To sleep with someone before you are offically in a relationship -- His & Her Point of View

 

Lane:

I was never a supporter of the "don't sleep with anyone until after the 3rd date" rule. In my head... If you're going to do it eventually... what is the point of waiting!!! If one thinks that a man will loose interest after conquering his conquest of sleeping with a girl... What difference would it make if he got it on the 1st date versus the 15th date!  

Well... My story might be changing after my experience with Chuck.  

After a couple years of my mindset I mentioned above... I was so tired of the guys that I had been seeing. None of them wanted to be in an "official" relationship, but they wanted to hang out for months without the responsibility and work of a relationship! So right before I started dating Chuck (for the second time ;) ), I had promised myself I wouldn't sleep with any other guy until it became official! Well.... 

There was something about Chuck that made me feel like he was the one... 

Plus I was SO attracted to Chuck while we were just dating!  I was close to saying... Lets break my promise, but he was very insistent that we wait!  He never said the words out loud... but I got the point LOUD and clear! One night, after our 5th date, he dropped me off at my house and I INVITED him in!! I said, why don't we go in and I'll show you my place! He responded with "Why don't we just stay in the car and chat for a bit.. I'm cozy and like being this close to you"............. We sat in the car for almost three hours talking! In my head, I was going nuts. 

I was wondering if this guy does not find me attractive??  Or is he being lazy!! Or is there something wrong with his "tools" down there!! It was crazy. Later, I find out that he knew things would go down if he came in, and he really didn't want that to happen. He said with our relationship, he knew he wanted more... and didn't want things to get physical, because he was TIRED of relationships that were purely based on being physical.  In the end, I fulfilled my promise to myself and am so happy about it :).

My point being -- I think it depends on what type of relationship you would like to have in the future as to whether you sleep with him or not before you're in a committed relationship..... Once the "getting to know each other" turns into a lust/physical sense, the actual possibility of a true soul mate relationship might get left behind. Am I saying that couples that sleep together on the first date and bound not to be soul mates?  Absolutely not!  Each couple is different and each circumstance is different. 

Chuck:

Well as a guy I am sure all know where I stand in wanting the physical stuff from a woman, no need to really go into detail about it.

As for things with Lane..... Since having my heart broken a couple years ago, Lane was the first one to make that lonely missing pain go away.  As I mentioned in our intro, I wasn't that great of a person before and had my way with women.  I wanted it to be different with Lane.

I mean I went from "crashed and burned" our first date to then waiting until the 5th date to even kiss Lane.  I enjoyed just being around her and talking to her so much that it didn't cross my mind.  Well, it did cross my mind when I wasn't with her with all my wishful and wondering thoughts.  When I was with her I was so content with just looking at her and talking to her. 

Yes I knew on that 5th date, if I would have went in with Lane when she invited me, I would have naturally put on the moves -- again I am a guy and it is just a natural instinct for us at times.  Now, do I think people should wait or dive right into the sheets?.... It depends on the people.  For some, yes, I think they should wait.  We all have friends that rush things and say the, "OMG he/she is perfect I have never met anyone like them before, they could be the one...." Or it could be the total opposite that a one night stand prospect turns into the man/woman of your dreams. 

For those that are religious, I understand and respect your beliefs to save yourself for marriage.  For everyone else it is just a part of life's experience we go through.  It isn't like how it was centuries ago when people got married right at puberty with a life expectancy that was lower then it is today.  Not that I encourage people to be throwing it out there to everyone and anyone either.  But imagine if the person you were head over heels in love with that you didn't connect in the bedroom?  Maybe that has something to do with the divorce rate being so high in America... Or what if that random person you hooked up with ended up with an amazing connection and sparked interest to discover them more?.....

The infamous 5 Love Languages - His & Her points of view

 

Lane: I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!  So, I wanted to touch on this book because it means so much to me.  It's the whole basis of our "team" aspect to relationships.... Or another good one I've recently heard is a "2 person gang that noone else is allowed to join."    In the beginning when Chuck and I were just getting to know each other through emailing... I had mentioned how much I appreciated the things I had learned from "The Five Love Languages" written by Gary Chapman.  A couple emails later, Chuck mentioned that he went and researched the book and found the Men's addition!!  This is one of the first moments of our relationship that I remembered feeling so loved.  I don't know why the gesture of sharing this book with me was so comforting but it was.  He mentioned that he had marked certain pages and information that meant a lot to him.  He said in an email:

"...you have to want to share feelings with someone you care about so they know you care which helps build a healthy relationship"

MY man said this!!  How lucky am I.   To have found someone handsome, kind, and who isn't SCARED to talk about feeling...unbelievable.

Anyways.

So as I was doing some research and pulling up some emails to help me write this post... I came across two different times that I had taken the 5 love languages quiz!  In 2011 when I was single, my numbers went like: 10 Words of Affirmation, 10 Physical Touch, 4 Quality time, 3 Receiving Gifts, 3 Acts of service.

Now that I've been in a relationship I re-took my quiz and see my results:

Interesting how things change right??  I was talking to Chuck about it last night, and he mentioned remembering something in the book saying that the ranking of languages might change throughout life depending on what stage you are in.  I think I am now in a comfortable, fully fulfilling relationship, therefore my languages changed a little bit.  I want to make sure that my man's love bucket is full at all times.  I may struggle sometimes, because my languages are not exactly the same as Chuck's.  I also am very careful at hitting all the languages... because I honestly believe all five need to be fulfilled!  One might have more affect then the other, but you can't feel fully loved without all five.

Chuck:  Before Lane and I met I battled many issues with myself in relationships.  I would be what you would call a womanizer.  I didn't know how to let people in or how to care for someone else.  It took almost 30yrs to finally have my heart broken and see it within myself my flaws.  I did a lot of self soul searching and changed myself.  I have always been an open minded person so when Lane mentioned the book it sparked interest to me in many reasons.

I wanted that "love" feeling again, not to just receive it but to give it to someone else.  I took it as a sign when Lane mentioned the book to me.  I was on another mission to Afghanistan when I picked it up.  I was surprised on how easy of a read it was.  I did pick up the guys version so maybe that has something to do with it.  Within 3 days of getting it I had already read the whole book and was telling all my teammates about it.  At that time Lane and I were not officially a couple and I got many comments about how I was already crazy about her, which I was.  But all jokes aside I got some kudos from people who have been married awhile and said that they had went through counseling that if they had read that book would have helped out a lot.  So I figured I was above the power curve.

There are so many quotes I can take from the book to post on here, but I can't decide on which one is the best without giving the book away.  It is must read for everyone whether if you are single, dating, or married.  It isn't designed to help relationships already in trouble, which it could do.  It focuses on how two people can understand each other to come together as one.

Lane and I go on about Team Halfie not just because we are both half Korean, but because we both bring something to the relationship and make each other better.  This book helped me understand that.  I have so many pages and phrases highlighted and book marked it is crazy.

A relationship is not suppose to be easy and I enjoy working through it all with Lane.  I am glad that after almost 6 months we still need to find the time to check in with each other to make sure our love buckets are full.

I will close with this, sometimes I wish I would have read this book after we fell in love so it would have been a bigger shock to me that we do things, like read this book, not just because we want to.  We do it because we love that person enough to go through and do whatever it takes to love them better and to be loved better.

Chuck's Homecoming!! An amazing week of date ideas and plenty of cooking.

Lane:

Chuck is home!! The problem about him being away for so long is that I am saving up a ton of recipes and date ideas that I want to do all of them at once!  So here is a break down of the week:

Chuck will actually admit how much he believes in juicing.  He was gone for over two weeks, and his body reacting to not having juice everyday!  So juicing was definitely the first thing we tackled.  I made sure to fill him up with some yummy beets, and a TON of mango's that were JUST about to go bad!

 

That evening, we had a lovely date night at Chuck's penthouse.  The picture actually turned out really nice -- it almost looks like it was taken at a restaurant!  

 

Our salmon salad was SO simple and SO delicious!

Ingredients needed:

Frozen individual salmon defrosted

Lemon juice

Olive Oil

Cayenne Pepper

Salad

Any vinigerette dressing

Candied Pecans

Crumbled goat cheese

We bought individually wrapped salmon from Costco and defrosted them. 

Next we seasoned it with a little olive oil, lemon juice, and a layer of Cayenne pepper and baked for 20 minutes on 350.

Topped it on a regular green salad with a raspberry vinaigrette dressing with some candied pecans and crumbled goat cheese.

The rest of our week consisted of:

Working out with our new tennis shoes!!

Pizza Night!

A friends birthday party -- Not toasted at all.... :)

A trip to visit Chuck's godson (Aren't they TOO adorable?)

And lastly:  Oreo Smoothie Night - I was craving it!! I saw a pintrest recipe that used cool whip to make it healthier -- but nope!  We went straight for the Bryers Ice Cream.

All in all -- Amazing weekend.  

We have a post coming soon about the book that really gave A LOT to our relationships.  The five love languages.  Keep posted!!  

We hope everyone has a safe, fun, positive weekend!  Cheers XO.

Expectations are resentments waiting to happen! Oh and pineapple juice is delish!

Lane: My mid-year new years resolution goal -- NO MORE ASSUMING!  I have been battling some character traits that I didn't really notice until recently.  My assumptions turn into expectations, and I now know that

Expectations are resentments waiting to happen!

I've been battling with labeling my high assumptions with being too "self-centered".  But I struggle with that because I don't consider myself a self-centered person.  By definition, a self centered person is:

• Talks about themselves constantly.
• Does not listen to others well nor cares to listen to what others have to say and makes no bones about it.
• Self centered people can cut off a conversation they are having with another person and start talking about themselves.
• They can be vain about their looks and are constantly looking at themselves in any reflection they can manage to get too, or, constantly preening themselves while the world flies by.
• They take, but don't give back.
• They may flirt even if they have a boyfriend or are married.
• They constantly need reassurance about their looks.
• If they don't get enough attention they will sulk.
• Basically everything in society is about 'them.'

And I don't find that I fit into many of those categories.  I'm wondering if I should label my assumptions on taking things too personally.   If someone does something, it is to get a reaction out of me.  For example, when Chuck posts an inappropriate picture (see the blog "Our First Fight" for more details),  I assume that he is testing his limits in our relationship!  I can't help but consider this as self-centered -- "he did something to get a reaction" out of me. 

So my new goal for myself is to take things less personal.  Here are a couple steps I found on WikiHow:

• Give the benefit of doubt: If you have a habit of taking things personally, it means that you're apt to assume someone is directing some form of aggression towards you when they could be just joking around or having a bad day. It might be your instinct to react emotionally, but pause for a second. Maybe it's not about you. Don't jump to conclusions
• Refocus your attention: When you take things personally, you shift your attention from what someone said or did to how you feel. Unless you move on from that point, it's likely that you'll ruminate on the negative feeling and amplify it. Instead, focus on the other person.
• Remind yourself that you don't need anyone's approval. If you're especially sensitive to how people treat you and you often overreact, you might have a strong radar for rejection. You worry that you're doing something wrong if you pick up on any kind of displeasure, and you want to fix it. But just because someone isn't happy with you doesn't mean you've done something wrong. In many cases, it means that person isn't happy with themselves and expects you to fill in the blanks (which is impossible).
• Speak up. Let the person know how you are feeling. They might not realize how hurtful or aggressive they seem and how it is affecting you. Use "I" statements.
• Stop taking compliments personally, too. If you base your self-worth on how often people compliment and validate you, then you're allowing others to decide how you feel about yourself. If someone compliments you, it's no more personal than a direct insult. They're simply calling it how they see it, and that may or may not be accurate--only you can be the judge of that. If someone compliments you, that doesn’t make you a better person, it makes them a better person because they're taking the time to be supportive and encouraging. Your value remains unchanged, because it's something that comes from within.

It has been a very eye opening experience for me.  It's a character trait that I never even CONSIDERED I had!  I simply characterized it as an "Over-Thinker."  I am so thankful for Chuck because he has been SO supportive!  I actually sent him a HUGE, long, painfully emotional email about how I was feeling and how I needed to stop assuming things and managing my expectations better.  Poor thing.  Hahaha  It doesn't help that I am only on month 2 of Birth Control..... Talk about emotions!

ANYWAYS!  As for an update on Chuck and I's life, he has been out of town for a couple weeks, but just got back last night with gifts!!!

 

Fresh Pineapples from Hawaii!!!!!

 

 Talk about DELISH!!  I also felt too guilty to juice them!! I didn't want to waste ANY of it.

But we decided to just juice one of the two.

We added some red cabbage (making a beautiful purple color), sweet potato, apples, and kale. 

 

Chuck actually brought back a necklace from Hawaii, and a "Jeep Car" from the Philippines. 

 

There should be another post soon from Chuck and pictures from his travels!  We hope everyone has an amazing weekend -- TGIF!  Cheers!

Chuck: While I was away on mission I did receive an email from Lane that covered this topic.  In my eyes I don't feel as though her expectations are high or assuming things.  It has been a rough few months for me that Lane has been there for me in so many ways that I have had a hard time fulfilling my ways of showing her that I love her and doing things I normally do.  I had a major surgery on my chest that scared me and hurt my pride.  It mostly due to the vanity of being deformed in my chest and having scars.  On top of that I am an only child and growing up in a somewhat Army life I always searched for a connection with my father.  My father has been battling cancer for awhile now and it won.  I tried the mancho saying of it is a part of life, but after this last month having my mother call me in tears because of how it is withering him away and he has been taken off the transplant list with only a short time left it hit me hard.  I am not ready to lose my father, even though we didn't have much of a connection he is still my dad.  Lane was there for me and held me as I hated everything and full of anger and confusion.  This is a new battle for me because I am use to just shutting down and people out.  After the storm has calmed I pick up and move along to someplace new to start over.  I let her know this and that I don't want it to happen with her.

We have a huge life changing event coming soon and I don't think it is fair to Lane to feel as though she is thinking that me not being able to meet her expectations is all her over thinking things.  For those of you that have lost a loved one you will understand that it rips your mind and heart apart which effects everything and everyone around you.  I know Lane will be there for me, and with her there by my side I will get through this tough time and back to doing all those little things I used to do for her.  I know that sounds like an excuse and I do try to keep up with them because she means the world to me.  I know that everything that I have gone through in my life that this is one time I need and want her there to hold me and help me through this.